WOMEN ARE PEOPLE, TOO
Listen guys, women are people too, with the same faults that you might
have, despite what you may think… or how they act.
Women put their pants on one leg at a time, just like you do (when they
wear pants!).
A man just has a streamlined life and just has to keep himself clean,
daily baths or showers, appropriate amounts of deodorant and clean
clothes.
Women, on the other hand, have to "fix their faces", do their hair,
chose an outfit, select matching shoes and purse… and then accessorize!
The poor babies must do that every day and sometimes more than once a
day
A guy always knows which shoes to wear - brown, black, gym.
Guys know that fast food restaurants and the drive-thru were created to
allow more time for TV and playing pool, women think it was to help them
get out of the kitchen
Men know that its more serious when your bartender cuts you off than
when your credit card company does
Man hunts, woman gather - man buys a larger belt, woman diets
A guy is ready for his picture to be taken at any time!
Women need men - heterosexual women anyway.
If you can be successful at becoming friends with one woman you have the
basis for building a relationship with
any woman. You need to develop
the skills and have the experience. Besides, despite the way they
sometimes act, women like men!
You probably need a little extra help in understanding women, so
click
> A woman knows it's love when she can spend an
evening with a man and forget that her feet hurt.
AVOID THE JERKS
Ladies, when you meet a guy face to face, you can quickly determine
whether he's worthy of spending time with. There's the manner in which
he expresses himself, as well as how he carries himself. You can quickly
tell whether his body language is creepy or reassuring.
Other hints quickly surface: Does he expect you to go Dutch? Is he
considerate or rude with the waitress?… and so forth. A jerk is a jerk.
You recognize the fact and move on as quickly as possible.
Ah, but what about the jerk you might meet through online dating. That's
not so easy. Many jerks are very smooth when hiding behind a keyboard in
cyberspace. So how can you swiftly, but accurately tell whether your new
online acquaintance is an industrial strength jerk?
Think abut these suggestions:
Suppose this guy proclaims he will "soon be separated"? At least the
shmuck is honest about his marital status, but that's most likely a
signal that he is looking only for a willing sex toy.
Further danger signs: He doesn't have a photo posted, or his photo is so
fuzzy his wife would never nail him, or he's wearing big sunglasses that
show off his body but hide his identity.
Another clue is when his profile states he's looking for casual sex.
Yipes! Your search can end right there if that's not your style.
In our more sexually permissive society many men don't even try to hide
the fact that are out for some extramarital heavy breathing. If you are
suspicious simply come right out and ask, "Hey, you sound married, are
you?" Many will come clean then and there.
What about the cheap guy? The jerk who keeps sending you "winks" and/or
"collect calls," those are free options offered on most dating sites to
send an email without writing a message -- or paying a subscription fee.
That could mean you have encountered a jerk. He's sending it because
it's free. If he won't spend a buck to send you an email why should you
waste time with him? Besides exposing him as a cheapskate, it's a good
bet that he's contacting lots and lots of people. If his email makes no
effort to respond specifically to items in your profile then you can be
sure you are just one of many on his dragnet list.
Now we come to the jerk whose profile describes -- and requests -- the
perfect woman.
She must have everything from a 36D chest to a size 2 figure to
well-manicured hands and straight blonde hair. He has no interest in you
except for your physical details. Character and intelligence carry no
weight if you look like Julia Roberts with a figure like Dolly Parton.
Oh boy, isn't this guy going to be a fun date for some lucky gal… if she
loves hand-to-body combat?
You'll run into the guy who is just too busy to completely fill out the
online service's questionnaire. Question after question is answered with
"Will Discuss Later." If this jerk is too lazy to be thoughtful for a
few minutes, your jerk alarm should begin ringing.
The guy sending you emails with IM (instant message) shorthand like "U R
hot", should probably be avoided. Building a worthwhile relationship
takes some honest effort. That guy is a born dating loser! U C him gone!
Jerk's just don't get it, the poor chumps. How about the guy who blasts
his ex-girlfriends in his profile? One of the dating sites has a
question for singles: "What contributed to the end of your last
relationship?" If he makes derogator remarks about the past women in his
life he is wearing his jerk suit. Hit the delete button on that loser.
Both men's and women's online attitude towards dating usually reflects
their offline dating style, with all the same problems.
Read your emails with the same critical eye an IRS agent uses to look at
tax returns. Be fair, but if you read between the lines, the guy's or
gal's personality may be laid out for you in black and white. There are
enough really nice people looking for online relationships that you just
don't have to settle for anything less than a decent thoughtful person.
Online dating service imatch.up.com, presents six sure ways to
distinguish the jerk from the keeper. They say you should avoid the
following:
Photos of a man with a woman's arms around him
No profile content filled out beyond the absolute minimum
Multiple profiles set up on the same site (seeing the same photo again
and again).
Income marked at $75,000 to $100,000 a year without having
A) the education or
B) the career (as indicated in his profile) to support that claim
Members who advise you to contact them by phone only during certain
times ( if a woman answers, hang-up???)
Men signing up as women and noting in their profiles that they are
actually men (they do this to get promotional perks offered only to
women)
If you have the feeling that you have a cheating spouse who is romping
around on internet dating sites
click
> Love is such a beautiful thing it's too bad
people have to get married and spoil it.
TIPS FOR SUCCESSFUL DATING
Be Realistic - If your looking for the perfect date or mate - GET REAL!
Perfection is unlikely, if not impossible. If a perfect person did
exist, they would most likely be looking for another perfect person.
Now, I admit you are very good, but perfect?
Are you expecting too much? Are you being reasonable? Are you asking too
much of yourself, too much of your date, or too much of the situation?
Best friends are really helpful in the reality check department, so when
in doubt, it's okay to say, "Am I being realistic here, or have I
over-dosed on romance pills."
What if you are getting a bit uncomfortable in a relationship? If you
say, "Our relationship isn't working for me" it is not specific and puts
the other person on the defensive.
It's far better to say what you really mean like, "When you say you are
going to meet me at the restaurant and you're 15-minutes late, it makes
me nervous and embarrassed." That's far more helpful because it offers a
problem and solution. Now your partner knows exactly how he can correct
a part of his behavior that threatens the relationship.
Nothing is more frustrating than dealing with someone who is never
wrong. All of us make mistakes. We make them because sometimes we are
thoughtless, sometimes we are clueless, often out of ignorance. But a
person of good character takes responsibility for their actions… even if
your first instinct is to make an excuse. It's far better to say, "I'm
sorry I'm late. I just did not leave myself enough time to get ready." -
then to say you had to help a women deliver her baby in the Wal-Mart
parking lot. The plain truth always works best.
On the other hand, if you're genuinely baffled or completely innocent
about a problem that has arisen, say, "I feel really dumb, but I truly
don't know what the problem is. Are you willing to help me out here?"
There can be honest differences in many relationships, and if you're
known as somebody who takes responsibility, everyone will be much more
understanding and forgiving.
Gosh, it seems like it has become stylish to be a professional victim.
The tobacco companies must be punished, because I ignored a thousand
warnings and continued to smoke a pack a day. Or - punish those
fast-food guys, because I eat so much of it and get fat. Cheez! What a
bunch of blubbering crybabies we've become.
The best way not to feel victimized is to create a life for yourself.
Turn off the TV and do something real! You are your own reality show!!
Become active! If you do you will find that you become an interesting
person that others want to spend time with. Dive into a hobby, help at
the hospital or church, get active in local politics, join a sport
team's booster club, work backstage at a local theater group. Do
something! Anything. Don't just sit there!
Begin building an active,
satisfying life right now. You are the only
one who can do it. Nobody likes to be around someone who has no
opinions, no energy, no personality, NO LIFE! Do something and watch how
quickly your life changes for the better.
Take a long, hard look at yourself. If you're happy figure out why? But
if your miserable figure out alternatives and try to understand cause
and effect of what makes you feel the way you do. Don't waste time
blaming; just try to be specific and active and responsible and
problem-solving. You have to work at happiness. And it's a darn good
job!
When it comes to being honest and evaluating your life, writing things
down is an instant combination shortcut and mirror. You don't have to
write a book and no one's going to be grading for spelling or
punctuation. This is simply your way of keeping track.
Not a diary, but something like a log of the high and low points of your
daily life can be helpful in identifying important times, beginning of
issues, and changes in the relationship. It's a great way to keep honest
and focused, and as long as it isn't left around for someone to find and
read, there is no downside here. A log is also a way of taking
responsibility privately, so you can practice before discussing things
with others.
There's nothing bad or wrong about being flexible. The trick is knowing
when to compromise and when to go for it.
Do you know what's really important to you? Once you know that, don't
settle. If you don't have what you want, make sure you do know what you
want - being both realistic and specific - and then go for it. You can
always re-evaluate. What most people regret is not the mistakes they
made, but the chances they didn't take.
You are one of a kind. You are special and unique. The same goes for
your date or romantic partner. You don't have to follow anybody else's
rules about what you want, how you act, where you go, or how you
communicate? If it's okay with the two of you, then why not? The two of
you can be original about how to talk and act.
Hey, that doesn't mean you have to startle or shock, but you may
surprise yourself at how interesting you can be when you follow your own
heart. If it works it can create a very special relationship between two
people. If it doesn't, the two of you can talk about it, figure out why
not, and come up with alternatives - or decide that you're really not
meant for each other.
You get one life and it is in your power to make it be exactly as you
wish… if you will just do it!
When you are dating someone new - pay attention. This is the time to
have your antenna up ready to receive all the positive and negative
signals emanating from your date…
" How are you?
" How does the date seem to be doing?
" Are you happy? Is it fun?
" Are you being attentive?
" Is the partner showing you genuine attention and interest?
" Do you seem to be connecting, or is there something you just can't put
your finger on that doesn't seem quite right?
Yes, a relationship has to build, but don't try building on a flawed
foundation.
The fear of dating. It grabs all of us. It can feel like jumping off of
a diving board when you are not really sure there is any water in the
pool. The way we overcome fear is to face it. You just have to look for
opportunities to date. Isn't that why you are interested in online
dating?
Sure, you've had a couple of bad experiences. That's just going to make
the next good one even sweeter.
Get it? Ying and yang. You don't really appreciate the good until you've
had a taste of the bad.
Who's the boss in your life. Give yourself a kick and get to getting.
There is a very special person just waiting to meet you. Please don't
disappoint that person… or yourself!
If you would like a blueprint to a successful relationship
click
> His wife didn't want to marry him for his
money… it was just that there was no other way to get it.
For Part
Thirteen
Click >>
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