Dating
Website Guide - Online Dating Guide
Part
Fourteen
Online Dating
PRIVACY AND SAFETY
There are tens-of-thousands of people online and there are thousands of
places to meet them. All kinds of people. All kinds of cyber services.
Just do a little bit of clicking around and you'll find a discussion
board, a forum, a dating service or something to join. This all leads to
meeting others online. All the while you should take great care in
maintaining your privacy. There are a few people who become "cyber
stalkers" and terrorize the careless.
Here are a few simple steps that can avoid the Internet "nuts":
Step 1: Sign up for an anonymous Web based email address. The giants are
Hotmail, Yahoo, and the Google email services. With these services you
can email others without revealing any of your personal information.
The email address that your Internet Service Provider (ISP) gives you
will reveal way to much about you. When you send an email it will carry
information that describes your location, your ISP and maybe your name!
You do not want this information scattered around the Web and that's
what would happen every time you joined a service, a forum or a
discussion.
Use your free Web based email service addresses for any program, club,
dating service, newsletter, discussion list, forum or anything else that
requires an email address.
Step 2: Understand how your Instant Messenger Service (IM) works. Some
versions of IM's will expose your Internet Protocol (IP) Address? These
10 to 12 digit numbers will reveal who your ISP is and what your
location is.
With "dial-up" Internet access, this
is not too much of a threat, because you receive a different IP address
every time you dial into the Internet. However, with high speed access
you always have the same IP address. Software is available that makes it
very easy to find your home address from you IP.
Read the privacy information available on any IM service you are using
and understand how to protect your IP address, your private email
address and any other information that may be displayed to someone
sending you a message. Never send or reply to a message from someone you
don't know!
Step 3: Never use IDs account names or nicknames more than once! Most
services will ask for you a user name, nickname, account name or some
other such identifier. It is very important that with each and every
service you sign up with you have a unique user name.
If someone decides to give you
too much attention online, or starts "cyber stalking" you, you should
"move on" to the next . If you use the same user or account name
somewhere else, chances are a determined stalker will find you.
Step 4: Every worthwhile online service that asks for any type of
personal information will have a posted privacy policy. Read it. Make a
copy of the email address you need to report someone that harasses you.
S
Save it with your user name and
password information. If at any time you are uncomfortable about
revealing private information about yourself, don't give it!
Step 5: Chances are you will never meet a stalker, but if you do be
cool. Email the service and report the person that is giving you
unwarranted attention. Include details such as copies of emails and
messages you have received, their user name and other information you
know or have received.
If the harassment has only been
online, close your account with the service. Get a new account name and
email address from your main ISP, or change ISP's. Cancel or close any
web based email services and IM services that you have used to contact
this person.
If the harassment has moved offline into your private life make a formal
police complaint against that person. Change your phone number.
Don't let these warnings put you off. The Internet is safe and fun. Just
use your head and be cautious.
Here is additional guidance that you will find valuable
click
> When a woman finds she has hooked up with a
worm she starts fishing for something better.
SIGNS & ACRONYMS
Here are some chat acronyms that are used in place of complete sentences
to speak with other users. Chat room acronyms are also known as keyboard
shortcuts and are often used in chat rooms and instant messenger
services.
ACRONYM MEANS
AKA Also known as
AFK Away from keyboard
BAK Back at keyboard
BIF Basis in fact
BRB Be right back
BTW By the way
CU See you
CUL See you later
EOM End Of Message
FAQ Frequently Asked Questions
FWIW For what's its worth
FYA For your amusement
FYU For your information
GMTA Great minds think alike
GR&R Grinning, running, and ducking
HHOK Ha ha only kidding
HHOS Ha ha only serious
IAC In any case
IMO In my opinion
IMHO In my humble (or honest) opinion
IMNSHO In my not-so-humble opinion
IMAO In my arrogant opinion
IOW In other words
LOL Laughing out loud
MOTD Message of the day
NBIF No basis in fact
NRN No response necessary
OTOH On the other hand
PMJI Pardon my jumping in
PC Politically Correct
PI/PIC/unPC Politically Incorrect
POV Point of view
RL Real life
ROFL Rolling on the floor laughing
RSN Real soon now
TIA Thanks in advance
TIC Tongue in check
TTFN Ta-ta for now
TYL Talk to you later
WB Welcome back
WTG Way to go
YMMV Your mileage may vary
((((("name"))))) Someone is sending hug
Use these sparingly, because not everyone knows the meaning of some or
all of them.
> My girl friend is so used to getting her own
way she writes her diary a week
a head of time.
EXTRA
We are going to stray a little from information strictly about online
dating. After all dating is about human relationships and that means you
must deal with emotions… both pleasant and painful. Let's start with
recovering from a break up.
One or two of your relationships may result in a painful breakup. Often
the other party finds that their feelings for you have faded and it's
time to move on. You did nothing wrong. It's not your fault. It's just a
fact of life that some relationships work and some don't. You must now
swing into action and get over this rejection as quickly as possible.
Exercise really helps. Start by walking a few blocks early in the
morning or later in the day when the temperature isn't too hot or too
cold. Deep breathing and arms swinging. This will give you some
clear-thinking time. When you are out on your walk, keep your eyes and
sense open. Be aware of your surroundings and let all other thoughts
slip away. Drink in the wonders of nature. You will be surprised at how
refreshed you'll feel!
The relationship is over and you now have extra free time. Before you
jump back into the online dating game build some other activities. Take
some classes, spend more time on hobbies, find an organization that
needs some volunteer help, work on your journal.
This would be a good time to begin working out at a gym as you've often
promised you would do when you had more time.
Pamper yourself a little. Buy something new. Treat yourself to a special
dinner. Look for a restaurant that you'd normally find too expensive and
make a reservation for yourself and a pal.
You will be able to share your newly discovered restaurant experiences
with others.
Feel free to repeat this dining out trip regularly. It will add to your
knowledge of where you live and you will probably find a new favorite or
two.
Plan an overnight or weekend getaway to visit a place that's within a
couple of hours drive. Spend some time at the local attractions and keep
your friendly face on.
Look up a few old friends and catch up on everyone's activities over the
past few years. There are plenty of online services that will help you
locate old school pals, childhood friends and summer camp buddies.
You'll be pleasantly surprised to hear how others are living their
lives. You may even find a new group of friends from the old group.
Refuse to let yourself feel lonely or alone. It's all up to you to make
yourself available and in a few easy steps you'll have a wonderful time
of new experiences, new places and new faces.
Have a question about your relationship? Should you continue or end it?
To find the answers
click
> A dumb girl is a dope.. dope is a drug..
doctors give drugs to relieve pain… therefore dumb girl is just what the
doctor ordered.
MORE DATING SERVICE IDEAS
Who says dating isn't serious business. In New York there is a service
that will evaluate your dating skill. It's way for singles to polish
boy-girl tactics and improve their chances of dating success. First
Impressions Consulting arranges a simulated "date," and evaluation for
about $185.
Clients are told they will meet their "date" at a particular cafe. The
date will be sitting alone, reading a copy of The New York Times.
If you are a man, you are told your date's name is Susan Green. You are
told she is single and lives in the area. She likes film, travel and
painting. You are to assume that she's roughly your age and that you
find her attractive. As the client it is your task to approach her,
introduce yourself and pick up the tab.
The "date" is a First Impressions consultant with an advanced degree in
psychology. At the end of the date she reveals her real name, describes
what kind of impression was made and makes suggestions for improvements.
The company has researched what behaviors are the most appealing to
others. The "date" might suggest that a particular behavior is more
universally appealing and you're not doing that all the time - are you
aware of that? Is that the image you want to project?"
There are some other interesting matchmaking services.
In New York, there's Dinner in the Dark, which arranges meals in a
pitch-black bar and restaurant. Waiters equipped with night-vision
goggles are the only ones who can see.
Clients fumble with their utensil-free dinner while getting to know
their prospective matches under these unusual circumstances. Candles are
lit during dessert and clients can then see with whom they have been
sharing the adventure. They've quickly learned whether or not they will
be interested in seeing each other again.
In San Francisco, there's Table for Six, which sets groups of singles up
for dinner at upscale restaurants. After the meal, organizers make
follow-up matchmaking phone calls for interested clients.
Or try speed dating. Speed dating gathers together singles who are out
to meet others. 25 or so people all know why they are at that particular
bar and conversations are easy to start. The company is named HurryDate.
Participants have three minutes to make themselves memorable.
Every three minutes, a whistle is blown, the men get up, switch tables
and meet someone new.
Everyone is then rated on a card - a "yes" or "no" - and if two "yeses"
match up, the two are put in touch with each other.
The idea is that in three minutes, you'll know whether or not you'll be
interested in seeing a person again, or spending more time with the
person
Hurrydate also has an online service. Recently, the company teamed up
with Comcast to offer "Dating on Demand" - a dating service based on
cable television.
Also in New York is Robin Gorman Newman, who calls herself "a personal
trainer for your love life." She creates plans of action for people
looking for a match.
For Robin, specificity is key. Rather than simply recommending the right
bars and cafes, she outlines plans of action - from image makeovers to
social activities based on the season. She's learned that if you have a
plan you can focus your efforts. Otherwise you can pound the pavement
endlessly and still not meet anyone. Robin's service is to ensure people
don't get stuck in a rut.
"It's very easy to do what you know and what you always do, but that
doesn't mean it works for you," she said. "You can't only do those
things."
All of these services have more male clients than female. The CEO of one
service says, "My hypothesis is that men are looking for a quick fix.
They're like, 'Tell me what to do and I'll do it."
Not so with women. "I speculate that women are more comfortable calling
up their friends and saying, 'Oh I had this date and it didn't go well.'
But men might be more comfortable going to a professional to get that
kind of feedback."
Guys, take our advice and
click
Another service that is becoming prevalent in many cities is "It's Just
Lunch."
Targeted to busy professionals, It's Just Lunch aims to take the
guesswork and hassle out of first dates. Clients go through an interview
process that gauges what they are looking for and what they have to
offer, then dates are matched by the It's Just Lunch directors.
The directors bring a practiced eye and often gut feelings to the
matching process. Sometimes the perfect date for someone is a person
they would never have picked by simply looking at profile sheets.
Dates are arranged at local restaurants for lunch or for after-work
drinks. If it doesn't work out, it's only an hour out of a day. If it
does work out, the participants can choose to exchange names and numbers
and meet again. To that point, they only know each other's first names.
Clients are guaranteed at least 12 first dates in 12 months for the cost
of about $1,195. Clients appreciate the fee structure because it tends
to bring in people who are seriously willing to give the service a try.
Restaurant owners like the service because once people have been
introduced to the restaurant, they tend to come back.
These all appear to be fun dating ideas. If there is not one in your
area now we suspect that it won't be long before there will be.
To end this section let's list some traditional places where you have a
chance of meeting someone nice… just in case you haven't tried them all…
" Bars
" Bookstores
" Cafes
" Weddings
" Bar mitzvahs
" Grocery stores
" Concerts
" Adult education classes
" Sporting events
" Political campaigns
" Health food stores
" Churches
" Synagogues
" Shiva calls
" Parking lots
" Beaches
" Auto repair shop waiting rooms
" Dog and Cat shows
" …and any place where people come and go.
One enterprising man has found that he can meet some nice women by
having his haircut at beauty schools. He says many of the students are
20-somethings who are open to new relationships.
> Say something nice to your wife… even if at
first it frightens her!
For Part
Fifteen
Click >>
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