Dating
Website Guide - Online Dating Guide
Part Four
WRITE THAT PERSONAL AD/PROFILE
Always be yourself. You're not in jail are you? Then you must be a nice
person. Don't try to be any thing you're not. You just can't sustain an
act and nobody will buy a "phony" you.
It's easy to overdo it, exaggerate and tell people something that you
wish you were rather than who you really are. Fantasies are NOT how to
meet someone special. And you aren't very special by being dishonest.
Your ad should be written to attract the kind of person with whom you
would be compatible. You want someone who shares your goals, values,
sense of humor, lifestyle and perhaps religion or other specific
criteria. If you submit information that is not true to who you are, you
could send potentially desirable mates on to someone else. You may also
attract a person who will be completely uninteresting to you. That's a
time waster.
Everyone is special in some way. What about you? Take inventory right
now. Make a list of your good and bad points. It might look something
like the following:
GOOD
I am well groomed
I am reliable. Same job for _____ yrs.
I enjoy children and other animals
My car is always clean and well maintained.
Friends say I have a good sense of humor.
I'm interested in others.
NOT SO GOOD
I smoke
I sometimes drink to much
I need some new clothes
I am nervous around new people
I don't often write to my mother
Examine your list and GET TO WORK! Now that you've admitted there are
some areas that need improving - Do it. You're close to making a big
improvement in your life and it starts right here.
Ask family or friends what they can add to the list, in either column,
and take what they say to heart. These are the things that make you an
individual and you want to correct the bad and get even better at the
good!
Look at your good list again. Get it! That's the beginning of your
online dating personal ad! Write about yourself as if you are
introducing "you" to someone new. Just be honest. You don't have to
stress your bad points. After all, you are working to correct those,
right?
If you have a special talent, interesting career or pastime, let people
know about it. If someone shares your interests, they will be drawn to
what you have written.
Don't do any thing dumb! If you write " I am looking for a beautiful
woman", or "I am interested in meeting a wealthy man" - your listing
will crash and burn.
You will appear too shallow and calculating to interest a worthwhile
person. Who wants to be judged by his or her looks or bank account? It
would just indicate that you are a few calories short of a full meal.
Your Web browsing should have found an online dating site that has a
large membership of people who appear to be compatible with you. That's
where you should spend your online time! If you only want to meet people
within a close geographical distance, look for the sites that offer that
choice.
When preparing a personal profile, you are usually presented with an
introduction line or personal quote that sums you up. It is really the
headline for your listing.
For instance, 'Irresistible and attractive Graduate, looking for Love in
San Francisco' might be ok, but 'no weirdoes or jerks, okay!' isn't
going to have singles furiously clicking to read your profile.
Profiles contain a section that allows you to describe yourself and
indicate what you are looking for in other singles. This is where you
sell yourself. You must spend the time to write something that is fun
and interesting for others to read.
IMPORTANT: Don't write your profile during a period when you are feeling
bright and cheerful. A grumpy attitude will creep into your writing and
prevent you from creating a scintillating word picture of yourself.
Do not write the profile if you have just…
Gained twenty pounds
Been
fired from a job
Broken up with you boy/girl friend
Gone
through a difficult divorce
Had a
fight with your mother
Been
evicted from your apartment
Realized it will take you 20 years to pay off your credit card debit
Had a
terrible haircut
Or
anything that makes you feel like the world is against you!
Wait until you have cleared up the major problems in your life and you
are finally ready for an exciting, new romantic adventure.
See, if you aren't happy and feeling good about yourself you won't have
a chance of connecting with a special person… even if you happen to
write a profile that's good enough to get some response.
OK, how that your feeling to good you're ready to do your happy dance we
can continue…
We will say it one more time - the sensible approach to personal
profiles is to be totally honest. Avoid using clichés like "trustworthy"
and "honest".
Don't use code that some might not understand like: "SWF GSH 35-yr old
seeks partner..". Gee, only 100,000 others have the same search. Put a
little sizzle in your ad. You can use the time and space advantages of
online dating when you create your profile, so make it attention
getting. Write in a clear, concise manner with a touch of originality,
directness and personality.
Be sincere. If you are funny, be funny. If you are serious, be that. Use
honesty in describing your traits and desires in a potential mate. If
there is something that is a must-have for you in any future
relationship, highlight it.
If you write like you talk it will go a long way towards revealing the
real you. Don't make your ad seem too contrived or rehearsed. You will
lose that feeling of sincerity. Write a few drafts and just let the
thoughts flow. Then go back and edit it. Make sure you spell check and
check again.
Read it out loud. Does it sound conversational… the way you will be
speaking when you meet the other person? If not… rewrite until it does.
No one thinks you just fell off of the pumpkin truck. Everyone has a
past, but don't tell too much too soon. If you feel something is
important, include it, like "single mom" or "divorced father of two",
etc. Leave out the part about looking for "someone to help me heal from
a painful divorce."
Don't mention past relationships except, perhaps, that you had one.
Once you've spent the time, thought and creativity necessary to create a
winning profile you can use it on all the other sites you may join.
Browse a few sites and read several profiles. You'll get some ideas of
different styles, and what works… what gets your attention and interest.
Always try to be creative and unique if you really want to have people
notice you. If you can do it include humor and wit. Ask a friend to read
your profile. What do they say about it? It might be necessary to make
some changes.
Some dating sites have sections where you can enter other information
about yourself. Always spend the time to write something that will
interest others.
Not only do some sites allow you to enter your photo they even let you
record a short voice or video greeting. That can be an opportunity to
separate yourself from the ordinary.
Remember, many people only browse profiles that have a photo. Be honest
with the photo and don't post one that was taken before you gained 100
pounds. Remember, you WILL find someone who loves you just the way you
are.
Your chance of finding someone special will increase as you become more
familiar with how the online dating game is played.
The more you correspond with people and the more profiles you read, the
more ideas you'll discover for ways of improving your own descriptive
profile and replies. Just as with everything in life… you will get
better and better with practice.
When creating your profile make yourself comfortable and concentrate on
writing. Don't rush. Write you profile, wait a few hours, then come back
to it and give it a final edit. Write it in your own style, but don't
over describe yourself - you want it to be interesting enough so any
potential matches are intrigued enough to want to get to know more about
you.
> Husband to wife, 'You know, I was a fool when
I married you.' Wife replies, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't
notice.'
For Part Six
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